As Much As It Depends On You

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)

I love how honest this verse is. “If it is possible…” Sometimes, even when you do everything right, peace doesn’t come quickly. Even Jesus—perfect love in human flesh—had opponents. So Scripture says, “as much as depends on you.” In other words, be faithful to your part. Do what a peacemaker does. Take the initiative.

What does that look like? Jesus gives us a very practical picture in Matthew 5:23-24. If you’re in worship and you remember your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go. First be reconciled; then come back and offer your gift. Don’t hide behind religious activity. Don’t delay. That’s peacemaking.

I remember a time years ago when I knew I had offended someone. The Holy Spirit wouldn’t let me rest. I called and said, “Let me take you to lunch.” And at that table, I said, “Brother, I’m sorry.” Now, he could have offered a word of apology, too, but he didn’t. You say, “Then why apologize?” Because as much as it depends on me, I want to live peaceably with all. Peacemakers go first.

And when you do, remember this: forgiveness is free, but trust is earned. I think about when parents find their little ones with crumbs on their chubby fingers and their mouths after they’ve been in the cookie jar they weren’t supposed to be in. They get corrected, they say they’re sorry, and parents forgive them. But the parents don’t put the cookie jar back in the same place that day. They wisely put the cookies higher. In time, they may be able to trust again, but it will have to be earned.

In our relationships, which are a lot more complex than cookies, we should forgive fully, but it will still be wise to set boundaries while trust is being rebuilt.

Peacemaking also means learning to see from the other person’s perspective. Philippians 2:4 says, “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” What if we slowed down long enough to ask, “How does this look through their eyes?” That mindset reduces defensiveness and encourages understanding.

One practical tip is to remember that when we are confronting an issue, we should attack the problem, not the person. We should be careful to use the right kind of words, even if we are upset. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification.” We can disagree without being disagreeable.

I once had a theological disagreement with a national figure. I didn’t run to social media or blast them publicly. I reached out directly. We went back and forth, sharing convictions and concerns. We still disagreed, but at the end of our conversation, he said, “Thank you for how you’ve had this discussion.” That’s what peacemakers do: truth with grace, conviction with kindness.

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” (Psalm 133:1). Unity means we are united to the same Lord and, because of that, we will do everything within our power, as much as depends on us, to make peace.

Reflection Question: What step can you take today that would honor God and pursue peace?

Father, as much as it depends on me, help me live peaceably with all. Give me humility to apologize, courage to initiate, wisdom to set healthy boundaries, and grace to speak words that build up. Make me a true bridge builder today. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

Adapted from "Becoming a Bridge-Builder": https://www.joshfranklin.org/media/5dw2p8w/7-become-a-bridge-builder