The Weight of Unforgiveness

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." — Matthew 6:14-15

Unforgiveness weighs us down in ways we often don’t realize. It consumes our thoughts, drains our energy, and holds us captive to the pain of the past. While the other person may have moved on, we’re left stuck, carrying a burden we were never meant to bear.

There’s a story about two monks on a long journey who came to a river. At the edge of the water stood a woman, distressed because she could not cross on her own. One monk, without hesitation, picked her up and carried her across the river. Hours later, the second monk, still upset, finally confronted his companion. “How could you carry that woman? You know our vows forbid us from such contact!” The first monk calmly replied, “I set her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”

This story illustrates the weight of unforgiveness. While the first monk let go of the burden, the second one carried it in his mind, letting it consume him. When we refuse to forgive, we carry the weight of bitterness and resentment long after the offense is over.

Jesus taught us the importance of forgiveness in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Forgiveness is not just something we extend to others; it’s something we receive from God.

But what does forgiveness actually mean? It’s not saying the hurt didn’t matter or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s not excusing the offense or ignoring the pain. Forgiveness is a choice to stop carrying the burden of resentment. It’s releasing the offense into God’s hands, trusting Him to bring justice in His time.

When we forgive, we are the ones who benefit most. Forgiveness restores our peace, lifts the weight from our hearts, and allows us to walk in freedom. It’s not easy, and it often requires God’s help, but it’s worth it.

Steps to Release the Weight of Unforgiveness:

1. Acknowledge the Hurt: Don’t minimize the pain. Be honest with God about how the offense has affected you.
2. Remember God’s Forgiveness: Reflect on the forgiveness God has extended to you. Remember, He forgave us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
3. Pray for Strength: Forgiveness isn’t easy, but God’s grace is sufficient. Ask Him to help you let go of the offense.
4. Release the Offender: Trust God to bring justice and healing. You don’t have to make things right—that’s the offender's job.
5. Choose Freedom Daily: Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. Keep releasing the burden to God as new feelings arise.

Reflection Question: What burden of unforgiveness are you still carrying? How can releasing it to God bring freedom to your heart?

Lord, I confess that I’ve been carrying the weight of unforgiveness for far too long. Help me to let go of resentment and trust You to bring justice. Teach me to forgive as You have forgiven me, and restore the joy and peace in my heart. In Jesus’ Name, amen.

From: "God's Answer for Bitterness": https://www.joshfranklin.org/media/s7kft67/4-god-s-answer-for-bitterness