Be Considerate

"Husbands, likewise dwell with them with understanding..." - 1 Peter 3:7 (NKJV)

"Dwell with them with understanding" means more than just an attitude—it's dwelling with full knowledge. The phrase "dwell with" combines two Greek words meaning "together" and "home." God is saying both of you are homemakers, transforming two individual lives into one unified home. Men, you're called to truly know her.

What knowledge? It's certainly a knowledge of God's view of our marriage. It's certainly a knowledge that we are one flesh in Christ, but it's also a knowledge of who she is. You are trying to understand her for who she is, not for what we think she ought to be, but for who she is. Understanding the way God views marriage and then understanding her as an individual.

But understanding women can be challenging. There was a man who had "an intense moment of fellowship" with his wife, during which they were in disagreement, so he needed to let off some steam. He was on vacation in California on the beach, just trying to think about the disagreement they had. He stumbles upon this lamp and rubs it, and out comes a genie offering one wish.

"I love California beaches, but I really like Hawaii. I'd like for you to build a massive bridge that will take me from California to Hawaii. I don't really like to fly," he said.

The genie shook his head. "You don't understand what you're asking. Have you considered how deep the Pacific Ocean is? Have you considered how long this would be? Too much, too much. Give me something else."

The man said, "Well, I've had this disagreement with my wife, and she says I don't understand her. So I would like to understand women. I'd like to understand their fears and their motivations. I'd like to understand what they love, what they cherish. I'd like to understand when they say nothing's wrong, what is actually going on in their mind?"

The genie said, "Would you like that highway two lanes or four lanes?"

This is simply a humorous anecdote about the mystery of women. In truth, God would not tell men to do something if it were not possible to do it. No one said it would be easy, but God has said that men are to dwell with their wives in an understanding way. Therefore, we can trust that God will help husbands in this assignment.

Help to make a home out of your house. Men, "homemaking" is not just for women; it's for men as well. Both of you are homemakers, creating a home together, transforming two individual lives into one. He says, dwell with her with knowledge, with understanding of God's perspective on marriage, with understanding of your role in the home, and also with knowledge of her.

Reflection: How well do you really know your wife? What could you learn about her heart that would help you love her better?

Lord, give me wisdom to truly understand my wife. Help me be a student of who You've created her to be, that I might dwell with her with knowledge and grace. I want to be a Christ-honoring homemaker along with my wife. In Jesus' Name, amen.

Adapted from "Husbands, Do Yourself a Favor and Love Your Wife": https://www.joshfranklin.org/media/bbpvr7n/15-husbands-do-yourself-a-favor-and-love-your-wife-1-peter-3-7